Kvetch Haven
Before more people misunderstood "KVETCH" as a person name, perhaps I should explain the meaning a little.
Kvetch actaully meant to complain and whine. This blog named "Kvetch Haven" so that I can complain a little, whine a little about life. Of course, this blog will not be solely on constant whinning and complain.
Matured Overnight Part IX
whispered @ Saturday, April 30, 2005 by stardusz
The clock continue to run, life moved on, Garnet goes to work as usual but when night fall, she has problem sleeping. Garnet got hooked on to the internet. She would chat to her online friends almost every night or exchange e-mail with them. The one day, while she was checking her e-mails, she saw a familiar name - Blaze. ((Hmm, why would he suddenly send an e-mail? Trying to harm her further?)
Besides, the normal and formal greetings, Blaze said that he has returned recently and decided to write her an e-mail to explain. He had also indirectly blamed Garnet for not informing him that his beloved god-mother had passed away after he left for UK.
Garnet was puzzled. She did not know that his god-mother has passed away then as no one told her about it. She did not even get the chance to pay her her last respect.
Blaze wrote:
"Hi, Garnet, I hope you are doing fine. Ido not know why but I think I just got to sent you this e-mail to let you know the loneliness that I experienced in UK.
In the first week of my arrival, I really miss you a lot. I missed you so much that I thought that I would die. Then I told myself that I should not behave like this. I told myself that when I stepped out into the society to work, I might need to travel a lot and will need to leave you alone at home. I must not miss you this badly. I must learn.
Towards the end of the first week, while I was alone in a park, a lady walked up to me and introduced herself that she's my classmate and noticed I was always alone. so she decided to befriend. Please do not misunderstand her intention, Garnet, she is being kind to accompany me through this period.
I found that we think alike, our thoughts, our way looking at life is so similiar. I thought I found a good friend. ((Or is it a soulmate??)
We met often, in fact we did not plan the meet up. Fate seems to have made the path for us. When I was alone at the beach, she would suddenly appear, when I was at the canteen eating, she would be around as well. I think I have some feelings for her, because when she was not around I feel that I have to see her but when I was with her, I felt guilty. I felt that I did you wrong, but please do not think that we had sex or what-so-ever. We did not even have any physical contact at all. ((but didn't you betray her emotionally already?! What the... ...)
I have reached home 2 days ago. However, the first person I went to see is her. I know that should not be the case but I really feel like seeing her the moment I touched down.
I think we should split up for a period of time to let me settle my thoughts. I am sorry. I might have let you down.
Blaze."
This e-mail once again hurt Garnet. She thought to herself "Why did you tell me all these? Want to make me angry? What the hell does Blaze want me to do? Make a scene? What, why? I hate you!"
Garnet wrote an e-mail back to Blaze. She scolded him. She said that all she saw within the e-mail was betrayal, betrayal and more betrayal. As she was writing the e-mail, tears flowed out. It was unstoppable, for the first time, Garnet cried her heart out but as her tear flowed, a decision was made. She was not going to waste any more tears on a guy who hurt her, it was not worth at all. Blaze would be totally out of her life from then on. The decision hurt her, but she had to move on and stop lingering in the past
2 months past by in a swift. Garnet had slow got accustomed to her singlehood again. Then one day, she received an sms from Blaze asking for a meet up. Garnet thought for a while and agreed upon the request.
That evening, both Blaze and Garnet reached the meet up place at almost the same time. Garnet smiled when he saw Blaze. He smiled back but Garnet felt that tha's a very fake smile from Blaze. They went to the nearby foodcourt to have dinner together and while having dinner, they talked about their past, and update each other what they did recently.
"Garnet, is it possible for us to go back together?" Blaze suddenly popped out a question. Garnet looked at him, paused what she was doing and think for a while. Then she shake her head with a smile and replied "No"
"Why? Are you seeing someone already? I really think we should give each other a chance," Blaze said.
"Blaze," Garnet said "Move on, I have already moved on. And besides, I do not think patching up will do us any good. You have cracked the mirror. No matter how hard you tried to mend it, the crack will always be there. You can't erased the fact. Don't hurt me again, Blaze"
The dinner went on with silence. Blaze knew that it was impossible to make Garnet change her mind. He had hurt her, that was a fact.
After dinner, Blaze insisted on sending Garnet home as this was the least that he could do for her. Before Blaze left, Garnet stop him by holding his arm then she told him something
"Blaze, I really thought of patching up with you initially, but then later I thought to myself, if I really do so, you will never learn and thus in term of relationship, you will not grow up. Now that you found a new love, treat her better then how you treat me. Love her and care for her. Good night, Blaze."
This teared Blaze. Blaze regretted letting Garnet go. But he knew he had no right to ask Garnet to forgive him. He did her wrong. Blaze decided to heed Garnet's advice and treat the new girlfriend well.
~Story ends~
Garnet went on with her life as usual but weren't any updates on how Blaze was getting on with life
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Matured Overnight Part VIII
whispered @ Tuesday, April 26, 2005 by stardusz
Garnet told herself to remain calm. She left her cubicle and went to the stairway to make an overseas call to Blaze. The call was connected very soon and the phone was picked up.
"Hello, are you Blaze? Garnet here. I received you sms. Could you tell me what went wrong?" Garnet spoke with a trembling voice.
Silence...
"Hello, don't keep quiet. I need an explanation from you," Garnet spoke again.
"I thought I have explained very clearly in my sms that we need to split up and cool down for a while? I, I just have to say sorry but I let you down," Blaze finally broke his silence.
"What let me down? What happened over there? Something happened to you right? When are you coming back, Blaze. I think we need to talk and iron things out," Garnet begun to sound agitated, her voice was still trembling
"Nothing happened here. I am fine and I believe I have explained myself. I don't know when I will be back. I could not get a seat reserved so I think I am staying in UK for a couple more days till they allocate me a seat... I think i got to go. Overseas calls are expensive. Bye," the line went dead.
Garnet was plunged into a bottomless pit of darkness. Garnet wanted to cry, but she the tears seemed to stuck somewhere. She felt a sharp pain in her heart; a pain so strong that she though she might just die from it. Garnet looked around her and realised that colours had abandon her world and threw her in tones of black, grey and white.
After standing at the stairways for ten over minutes (But I believe, to Garnet it's like several hours), she decided to went back to her cubicle.
She told herself that this was a dream and she's going to wake up from it soon. But how soon? When will Garnet wake up? She was wide awake when Blaze slapped her hard with those sms.
Cedric, a temp staff in Garnet's office, walked past her cubicle and noticed something was wrong with her (ya, a person who was jilted seems to be easily noticed by others)
"Hey, what's wrong with you? You looks like you have been jilted!" Cedric said cheekily. Garnet ignored him. (Oh man, guys are really dumb at times, isn't it)
Realized that he said said something wrong. Cedric left quickly and went to the pantry. He returned shortly and passed Garnet a note. In the note, Cedric apologized to her and wrote his mobile number so that Garnet could call him.
Garnet kept the note, went over to Cedric and told him she was ok.
"Well, you don't look ok to me at all. You were happily bickering with us during lunch. But now, look at you, you are so glum. Something is wrong. Call me and chat with me, ya? Don't be shy," he winked. Garnet smiled and went back to her table to do her stuff.
When Garnet reached home in the evening, she dropped her bag by the bed, went to the computer, switched it on and logged on to the internet. She was surfing the net, checking her mail when she remembered a site that Cedric intoduced her to visit once.
She went in, and chatted in its forum. People in that forum were friendly, but that does not helped her at all. She was still in pain and the pain seemed to have spreaded all over her body. Garnet decided that she would not let her fmaily knew abouth this break off. She felt that by telling her family about it meant that Blaze had won in this 'game of love'. ((But then, how long can she hide it? Forever seems impossible...)
When her family returned home, Garnet put on a smile on her face and pretended that nothing had ever happened.
Night crept in quietly. Soon, everyone in her family turned in for the night, everyone except Garnet. She could not sleep though she was exhuasted. She went back to her computer and logged in to the site again. There, she told the 'world' what happened to her.
Some people mocked, some empathized and some sympathized her. Some tried to cheer her up but Garnet knew that was useless. Her world seemed to be slowing down to die.
Suicidal thoughts flashed across her mind. But Garnet could not bear to do it when she thought of her family. She decided to lived on for the sake of her family.
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Matured Overnight Part VII
whispered @ Thursday, April 21, 2005 by stardusz
Two weeks before Blaze left the country for UK, the couple met up in a fast food restaurant nearby Garnet's place. There, they planned a lot things. Blaze even suggested that both of them should register at the ROM (Registry of Marraiges) before he left for UK.
However, Garnet suggested that both of them could wait till he returned from UK then discuss about marriage as there were many things that needed Blaze to prepare for his 3-week trip. Blaze agreed and decided to hold on to the idea. Garnet suggested that she wanted to attend Blaze's graduation in UK and she was planning to apply a week leave.
Blaze was delighted. Garnet could see him smiling from ear to ear.
Just a couple of days before Blaze's trip. He suddenly suggested to Garnet that he felt that it would be better for her not to see him off at the airport.
"Why?" Garnet asked.
"I don't want to see you cry, dear. It pains me and I might not want to let you go," Blaze explained.
"Don't be silly. You are not going there for good, just a short trip. Besides, we will meet up again in 2 weeks time," Garnet said. Despite all her persuasion, Blaze was firm about not letting Garnet to see him off. Garnet gave in and wanted Blaze to at least sms her after he checked-in on that day.
Garnet felt that uneasiness again but she brushed that aside once again and focus on her preparation to UK 2 weeks later.
Soon the day for Blaze to go for his course arrived and as promised, Garnet did not send Blaze off at the airport and Blaze sms her after he checked-in.
For the first week of his stay, Blaze sms Garnet pretty often. In the messages, he mentioned he felt very lonely and he had problem getting along with the classmates over there. Garnet returned his messages and encourage him to open himself up to make new friends. (ho, ho ho... that's a not-so-good advice, my girl... you might regret it)
On the second week, Garnet did not receive as many sms as she did as compare to the first week of Blaze's stay. "Maybe he's getting used to the environment there already and is busy with the course," Garnet thought to herself. She sms Blaze if he know how to go to the airport to pick her up on the following week. But Blaze did not reply her. She got worried. She tried to sms him again, still no reply from Blaze.
Then, on the third day of Blaze's last week stay in UK, Garnet received something from Blaze while she was working. In the sms, he mentioned that he felt guilty of chaining Garnet up for so long.
"You are like a bird in a cage, a cage that I have created to lock you up. I think it is high time for me to set you free. I am sorry for making you so terrible. I think we should split up. I am sorry."
"You have never experience the loneliness I experience during my stay here in UK. Do you know how terrible it is? No, you won't understand because over there you have friends and family to accompany when I was not around. On my second week here, I decided to put myself to a test. I stop sms you and see how much I miss you. And I told myself I must not miss you too much else I would fail this test I set for myself"
"I managed to do it. I started to stop missing you so much. And I came to realise that I have been preventing you from making friends and friends are so important. Therefore, I hope you can make use of the 1 month of splitting up to make more friends then we reconsider should we continue. Sorry, goodbye"
Garnet was shock to received such these sms from Blaze. What went wrong? What happened in UK?
Garnet's world turned grey and begun to fall apart.
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Matured Overnight Part VI
whispered @ Monday, April 18, 2005 by stardusz
Time flew by really fast, Garnet and Blaze were together for almost a year and a half. Beside a little issue of Ace asking Garnet back, which was turned down by her, both Garnet and Blaze were a couple that was envied by many in the class and later in her workplace after both of them graduated.
However, Garnet noticed that Blaze was especially attached to her. So much so that she noticed that Blaze's friends were slowly drifting away from him. Not only that, she felt that Blaze is a conservertive MCP.
He disliked Garnet to wear clothes that were deemed as revealing to him; he always wanted Garnet to wear something of his preference. He tried to control and filter Garnet friends. She was not allowed to befriend new friends escpecially guys. Blaze always wanted Garnet to stay over at his place which Garnet obliged to despite her parents disapproval. Garnet felt bad for not listening to her parents but, because of Blaze, Garnet disappointed her parents time and again. Initially, Garnet brushed it aside and convinced herself that it was because she was Blaze first girlfriend and that was the reason why Blaze was doing so. She also believed that Blaze would change after she proved to him that she would only had an eye for him and no one else.
But soon, Garnet felt that the noose around her neck got tighter and tighter, it got so bad that she felt that she was suffocating and need a breather.
So on one Saturday night, while strolling around Blaze's neighbourhood, Garnet suggested to Blaze that both of them should stop seeing each other for a month and ponder over the relationship.
She told him the reasons for such a conclusion and said that it would be better the both of them to do so. Blaze looked at Garnet in shocked and asked her what happened. She repeated herself and said she was tired. Blaze begged her not to come to such a conclusion and promised that he would change.
"We should face problems together and not to split up, dear... How can you leave me like that. I really love you. Really, I do. Please don't go. I can't live without you." Blaze cried.
"But, look at you, your friends, didn't you noticed something? They are drifting away from you. This is because you are always with me and that is not good. Your circle of friends is getting smaller and smaller. It's a bad sign, Blaze. Also, look at me.. Can't you see I am tired?" Garnet told Blaze.
Garnet turned and walked away, Blaze caught up quickly and begged her again. He gave lots and lots of promises, and in the end, Garnet gave in and dropped the idea of splitting up (that's a very bad move, never soften your heart and give-in!!!)
Things seemed to have improved in some way. Blaze seemed to have changed somewhat. They seemed to be a pair of happy lover once again. But somehow or rather, Garnet felt that her love for Blaze was not as intense as it was before. The love for him in her had simmer down quite a bit.
Some months after the splitting-up incident, Blaze enrolled himself in a distant-learning degree course. He told Garnet he wanted to get a degree while doing his national service so that he could obtain a degree earlier then his peers. He also told Garnet that by obtaining the degree he could provide a better life for her when both of them gets married. Garnet was happy to hear that and was very supportive of his decision. To show her support, Garnet would meet Blaze up nearby his school whenever Blaze had lessons, accompanied him when need to burn midnight oil for an assignment or test and encouraged him whenever he need one.
Time flew... Garnet had been out working in the society for almost 2 years. Blaze was about to complete his National Service and his degree course as well, however, in order to be able to graduate from the University, Blaze was required to fly over to the University, in UK, and study a 3-week course there before attaining the degree certificate.(and yes, the real test has come for the couple) The couple did alot of planning and preparation for Blaze's 3 week stay in UK.
Garnet felt something amiss about Blaze's trip to UK. She felt that Blaze leaving the country equate to leaving her for good. This weird thought kept bouncing to and fro her mind and everytime this feeling bounced to her mind she brushed it aside and ignored it... (never distrust your own instinct, it was there for a reason)
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Matured Overnight Part V
whispered @ Saturday, April 16, 2005 by stardusz
Hi there~, sorry for the late update.. Was busy with work... some daily routine stuff... Ok, let the story continue:
"Let's see how things goes?" Garnet said but she could see the hurt she had brought to Blaze, it was written all over his face.
"Blaze, I don't want to go home tonight, can we stay here till dawn and watch sunrise together?" Blaze looked at Garnet and smile, then nodded. Garnet then called home and informed her parents that she was going to stay over at a girlfriend's place to study. (ah... little liar)
Things happened fast that night. Though, Garnet had rejected Blaze, her actions spoke otherwise.
After the call, they went to the jetty and sat there until around 3 in the morning. Garnet then suggested to Blaze that maybe both of them could walk to the watch tower at the other end of the beach to catch the sunrise from there. Her butt was getting aching from all the sitting around at the jetty.
For some reason, the wind that night were rather colder. As they sat at the platform at the watch tower, Garnet shivered and leaned closer to Blaze. Blaze then hugged Garnet to warm her up. (excuses!! ha) Garnet felt the warmth and smiled at Blaze. She then rested her head on Blaze lap and closed her eyes to enjoy the cold breeze.
Just as Garnet was about to doze off, she felt something touching her lips. She opened her eyes a little, and saw Blaze face close to hers. But instead of struggling free, she just let Blaze continued.
Garnet opened her mouth a little and let her tongue wriggle into Blaze's mouth. Surprised, Blaze stopped and pull himself away from Garnet a little. He apologized to her, but Garnet just smiled and said nothing.(oh well, here it goes again! Cupid working in the middle of the night)
Blaze hugged Garnet again. The hug was tight, firm and reassuring. Once again, Garnet felt like a happy little girl. The memories of Ace and her had finally became an item of the past. (or so she thinks) This was how Garnet's second relationship in life begun...
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